--(Name) Penguin
(Assignment) I am writing
a short analytical research paper. What I have submitted are my introduction
and first couple paragraphs
(Title) Nonconformity and
Rebellion Against Authority
(Assigned Length) 5 to 8
pages
(Question) Do my paragraphs
tie into each other well? Are there any major grammatical flaws?
Should paragraphs two and three be combined to make one long paragraph,
since the discussion is about the same character (same question for paragraphs
four and five)? Is my thesis clear, and concise? Do I use transitions
well?
(Document)
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Through their parallel themes of alienation and the disastrous results
of society's repressive forces on the individual, both J.D. Salinger's
Catcher in the Rye and Ken Kesey's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest have
main characters who rebel against authority in order to obtain personal
freedom. In One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest Kesey uses
machine imagery to depict the methodical control of the Combine and show
society’s repressive forces over the individual. This corresponds
with the isolation felt in The Catcher in the Rye as Salinger uses a falling
metaphor to show how Holden loses a grasp on a world with feelings and
compassion and slides toward one where greed and power stretch their bony
fingers over all that was once good. Both novels take as their dramatic
center the conflict between mass society with its constraining norms, no
comma and the individual whose primary impulse
is to resist conformity. --Well focused thesis!
After being removed from three different prep schools, Holden encounters
his fourth combine, Pencey Prep. He describes this as a place where
“you have to keep making believe you give a damn if the football
team loses, and all you do is talk about girls and liquor and sex all day,
and everybody sticks together in these dirty little goddam cliques”
(Salinger 39). He progressively fails all of his classes, except
English, until he leaves the school breaking away from the overbearing
authorities. Just as his teachers disregard his presence in the classroom
his parents neglect him as a son.
After finishing The Catcher in
the Ryecomma
Salinger dedicated the book to his mother. Irony envelopes the situation
because the fictional mother in the narrative appears only as a voice through
the wall while Holden hides in his sister’s room (Geismar 199).
Holden does not reveal many solid facts about his parents, he just gives
his impression of what they are like, which depict them as irresponsible,
alienated, and skittish (Bender 92). Lack of parental guidance in
any stage of a person’s life leads to serious repercussions,
but desertion during the teenage years proves especially troubling.
Holden lives with this abandonment, and it reflects in his rebellious attitude
and disobedience for authority. The haphazard affection
between Holden and Phoebe portrays only a mere substitute for the missing
child-parent relationship.
Opposed to Holden, McMurphy, discusses virtually nothing at all about his
parents. In One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, McMurphy’s
past leads to “a series of arrests for Drunkenness, Assault and
Battery, Disturbing the Peace, repeated gambling, and one arrest—for
Rape” (Kesey 44). Thus showing McMurphy’s numerous
run-ins with the law and proving his utter disregard for authority true.--FRAGMENT!
He furthers this blatant disrespect for control by hassling the Big Nurse
and becoming the greatest threat to discipline and order to confront her
ward (Porter 51). His arrests lead him to become committed by the
state to Pendleton Farm for Correction.
At the work farm McMurphy labors in the hot sun all day long only to come
in to a plate of food, which even he cannot describe as anything edible.
He toils and pains at the farm serving his time for what he has done wrong,
until he realizes a way to undermine the system. By faking his insanity
he not only receives leave from the work farm, but rebels against the authority
that put him there in the first place. He lands himself in an insane
asylum where he finds better food, better living accommodations, and some
more suckers to scam money off with his slight of hand and mind gambling
techniques. Even his superiority over the other patients in their
card games show his knowledge of a way to not only rebel against, but beat
the system holding him down.
-- Hello Penguin:
Essay Coherence and Paragraph Transistion
Because the first sentence in the second paragraph is a factual statement, it is not clear where you are going or what your topic is. In general you should begin sentences with the statement of your topic, the claim you want to put forward in the remainder of the paragraph. I'm sure you know that this is called a topic sentence.
The same thing is true of the first sentence of the third paragraph. Though it is connected thematically to the previous paragraph (the theme being relations with parents), it is a factual statement and not a topic sentence.
Combining Paragrphs
Your choice of whether to combine paragraphs should not be governed by whether you are still discussing the same character, but by whether you are changing the topic of discussion. I'll leave it at that.
Grammar
I've noted a couple of comma errors
and a fragment, which is a major error of grammar.
Creed Greer, Ph.D.
Lecturer in the Humanities
Center for Written and Oral Communication
